Some Assembly Required
by ElderTrash
Summary: James and Chris attempt to build IKEA furniture with one major complication, James threw away the instructions. ((ChurchTarts fluff))


Chris had a very specific vision in his head for the first apartment he and his boyfriend would share together.

Everything from the color palette to the floor plan was carefully mapped out in his brain and he was practically bursting with excitement when he and James arrived at IKEA to begin furniture shopping.

While Chris spent time carefully looking at every piece of furniture in the entire store, James sat in the store's restaurant eating bowl after bowl of Swedish meatballs.

"Babe, I found it! I found the perfect bed for us!" Chris cried happily, running into the little restaurant and clutching his boyfriend's arm.

"Chris, have you tried one of these? They're freaking amazing." James said, impaling a meatball on his fork and holding it out to Chris. With a sigh, Chris took a bite and chewed before continuing. "Yup it's awesome. Now come see the bed!" He tugged at James' arm and James let himself be dragged away from his meal by the smaller man.

The bed Chris had found was shiny and black, it had a tall thin headboard and no baseboard, giving it a very modern feel. James actually liked it a lot, it wasn't really Chris' style, but it was right up his alley.

They paid for the bed and took it home. Chris went to the kitchen to make a snack for them to eat while they built it, and James unboxed the many different components that would somehow form their bed.

Chris brought a bowl of pretzel sticks to the bedroom and sat down on the tan carpet with James. "Okay," He rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Let's do this."

The two men stared at the piles of screws and wooden planks blankly.

"Um, okay yeah. Let's build stuff." James said.

Chris glanced around the piles of bed pieces. "James,"

"Hm?"

"Where are the instructions?"

"The what?"

"The instructions."

"They're here somewhere."

Chris and James scoured the room for the bed's instructions and came up empty handed. "Did you throw it away?" Chris asked.

"Of course I didn't!" James exclaimed, offended.

Chris raised his eyebrows and looked at his boyfriend questioningly.

"Not on purpose anyways..." James added.

"Where's the trash?"

James blushed in shame. "I put it in the trash chute already."

"Oh-" For a moment it seemed like sweet little Ex-Elder Poptarts was actually going to curse, but instead he busted out with "-poop!"

James fought not to laugh at Chris' idea of a curse word. He noticed a piece of paper poking out from beneath a pile of washers, he grabbed at it and revealed a paper covered in diagrams. "I found them!" He exclaimed, waving the papers over his head triumphantly. Chris snatched them away and looked at the paper. "James these are in Swedish! We need the English ones."

The triumph died and both boys decided to just wing it using the picture on the box.

"James that doesn't go there."

"Shut-up Chris."

"You put that on backwards."

"No I didn't, don't be a backseat builder."

"James-"

"Chris!"

James tossed the wooden board in his hands to the side and crossed his arms. You build it then, I'm going to take a shower. Chris tried to argue, but the hot-headed James had already left.

Ten minutes later, Chris was screwing a plank in place when he rubbed his finger the wrong way and got a splinter. The minute he cried out in pain, he heard the shower water turn off. James erupted from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and soap in his hair.

"What happened Chris? Are you okay?" He asked frantically.

Chris nodded, "I just got a splinter."

"Shit." James said, going back into the bathroom and grabbing a pair of tweezers. Every time Chris got hurt, no matter how minor, James treated it like the biggest medical disaster in history.

Carefully, James removed the splinter from Chris's finger before kissing his hand. Chris leaned in and kissed his boyfriend lovingly. "Go finish your shower, I've got this." He murmured.

James nodded and got up, leaving Chris to finish. A few hours later, Chris stood with his hands on his hips, admiring his handiwork. He'd actually managed to construct a semi-stable bed. The box said it should take about two hours, Chris took almost seven, but those were just numbers.

James was sitting on the couch watching basketball when Chris ran from the room and jumped into his lap. "Hey babe, chill for a second."

"Jaaaaaames."

"Chris, the Jazz game is on."

Chris pouted. "But I finished the bed!"

James cocked an eyebrow and turned off the TV, following James to the bedroom. Outside the door, Chris grabbed James' hand and handed him a tie. "Put this on like a blindfold." He said.

James tied the fabric around his head and Chris made sure that he absolutely, positively couldn't see anything.

By hand, Chris led James into the room and stopped him right in front of the bed. He tore the tie off of James' face and beamed proudly.

"Oh my god Chris, you did it. It looks awesome!"

Chris smiled and admired his work.

"Guess you don't need me anymore." James joked, walking around the bed and looking at it from all angles.

Chris followed him and wrapped his arms around James' waist, smiling up at him. "Of course I need you."

"Oh really? The great Chris Thomas, bed builder extraordinaire, needs the lowly James Church?"

"Yeah, the great Chris Thomas still can't reach stuff on really high shelves."

"And?"

"And he can't carry himself to bed when he falls asleep on the couch."

"And?"

"And you're a jerk."

James laughed and leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. "Wanna test out your handiwork?" James asked with a wink. Chris smiled against his boyfriend's lips and pulled him back as they fell onto the bed.

The minute their bodies hit the mattress, the bed collapsed.

They sat on the mattress in a pile of wood and nuts and bolts. Chris blushed fiercely in shame.

"Nice, Chris."


End file.
